It is such a delight to share a short piece with you today. I am particularly grateful to all the people who visited my blog site to read, share and give feedback. I would like to hear from you on this one as well.
From the last piece, I promised to share three lessons I have learnt over the years. Frankly though, these will be lessons of the last couple of years. For me I think it’s nice to share and to learn.
Benjamin Franklin said,
“Man can either buy his wisdom or borrow it. By buying it, he pays full price in personal time and treasure. But by borrowing it, he capitalizes on the lessons learned from the failures of others.”
On that note, we delve right into it,
The first lesson I have learnt is to be ‘selfish’. I am sure you are thinking when did selfishness become a good attribute? Well, it can be. Some people call it ‘self-full’. Either way we have to learn to put ourselves first.
Growing up we have been taught to care for others which sometimes morphs into not just caring for others but a desire to please everyone apart from ourselves. We often think that we are good people when we put the needs of our families and friends before ours. But what we forget is we cannot give what we do not have.
We have to give to ourselves in order to be able to give to others. And this is not a bad advice- always analyze situations for your interest in it before you act. Sometimes, because we keep giving, people actually expect us to do everything for them and they hate to see us take time for yourself and be happy. To this I will say, please young people, people will treat you according to the limit you give to them. Define your limits.
Point 2, which is very much linked to the first point, and as well something I alluded to in the first blog. Many of us, in fact, a vast majority of us are living according to how society has told/taught us to be. What do I mean?
We follow exactly the path of our parents or the path they have chosen for us. We are on a daily basis met with circumstances that pressure us to conform to stereotypes and many people shy away from making alternative choices, even if those choices are what they really want.
Don’t be silly,! you would say — why would I choose what I don’t want over what I want? Well, the answer is because society punishes you for being true- through stigmatization- ooh the black sheep, outcast, the outlier. Imagine if both parents were Doctors and you wanted to be a tailor. You will be called an embarrassment. Well, this is a basic example to show what I am saying.
The problem with this situation is that when you go against the norm, it is as though your so-called friends and family await your failure. You become a sitting duck, but that should not define you. Look! If your neighbor says you are a sheep- do you automatically turn into one? You don’t. Then why do we feel that the judgement of others defines us?
We all have choices to make and if we make society force us to make certain decisions, we will be forced to live with its consequences and ooo at that moment, there will be no society to help you with the problems. You will have to suck it up and pretend to be happy.
Let us look at it this way. When you fit the stereotype, you will not be happy, if that is not your true desire, but when you go against the stereotype you may be judged but you will be happy. So next time you are forced to make a decision to fit a stereotype, think twice, because the easiest option isn’t always the right choice.
The last thought I will share is something quite off tangent relating to the importance of monitoring activities. Aaaa what a disconnect- I hear someone say. Well its not. It sounds rather simplistic and easy, but it is important, and I had to learn the hard way last year. I had undertaken a task with a client, and I trusted them to follow through the agreed tasks and also assumed they understood.
Well, at the end of the day, things didn’t go as planned and the trusted partner went ahead to report a different outcome. I knew at that point I could have avoided this situation if I had tracked and reviewed progress or prepared a monitoring and evaluation plan. It pained me paaaaaa that is why I have included it in this blog.
Please find a little time to read about simple tools to use in everyday work on https://www.thecompassforsbc.org/how-to-guides/how-develop-monitoring-and-evaluation-plan or http://www.tools4dev.org/resources/how-to-create-an-monitoring-and-evaluation-system/
I hope I have made sense explaining at least one of these and you have learnt something. It is rather humbling to be able to share these with you. I would like to hear more from young people in Africa on what I should write about.
Please share your thoughts on the blog and maybe how you are coping with the pandemic now that schools are closed.